In an effort to somehow maintain our sanity while we wait for the 2015 football season to begin, Subway Domer is going on a suicide mission. Instead of yet another profile / prediction / eulogy / gushfest over the roster, we will instead use this time to go through the entire roster with the use of a “suicide poll.” Much like those suicide pools we love in the workplace, a player can only be used once as we “poll” out the roster. Round 1
These polls will be about as insane, dumb, and useless as possible- much like this site most of the time. Please take little or no offense to what and/or how these polls take shape. In fact… if you have a poll topic in mind and want it used please send it via email or twitter.
TOP 5 PLAYERS THAT ARE ACTUALLY LACROSSE BROS
5. Nic Weisher TE Attacker
Only twice before in the history of mankind has a person been named “Nic” and NOT been a lacrosse player. If Nic was a football player, people may compare him to the likes of Mark Bavaro or Anthony Fasano- but less Italian.
4. Nicco Fertitta S Attacker
Unlike Nic Weisher, Nicco is Italian (well, Sicilian). Nicco also has a fonder love of letters as he has the additional “c” and “o” on his name. As an attacker, his stick skills are legendary and despite his smaller stature, he can take a check from the best of them.
3. Sam Mustipher G Goalie
Don’t let Hollywood fool you. Maryland is not about “Crabcakes and Football.” Not only is Maryland full of liars on the subject of what they’re about, they are also all about lacrosse (and crabcakes). Mustipher was a huge steal from Johns Hopkins, but they’re entry into the bi6 sealed the deal.
2. Jarron Jones DT Midfielder
While at first glance, this may seem like a fish out of water story, it’s actually a really big and mean fish in your damn pond story. Jones grew up just a short drive away from Syracuse and dreamt of playing lacrosse for the Orange. Syracuse only wanted him for football. Damned fools.
1. Durham Smythe TE Defenseman
Durham has the most broiest lacrosse bro name in South Bend- perhaps the world. How did his parents have the foresight to grant him such a grand bro name? Well, despite the WASPy east coast facade, this is actually a family of warlocks and witches- damned good ones too. It makes sense as Smythe casts spells on any opponent he faces and then decleats.
