There’s a change in the wind. Honorable Notre Dame opened up the season at home with a convincing ass-whooping over the Rice Owls. 1-0 with room to spare is the best way to start the season, no matter who the opponent might be.
Things get a little different this week with an old and familiar foe invading town…
SWEET! Got me 3 virgins for a BBQ!
SATANIC MICHIGAN
It’s time for that annual LET’S PLAY DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL game against the ugly Skunkbears of Michigan. Let’s be real for a moment; Glorious Notre Dame should have won every game played against the communist Skunkbears since 2008. For whatever and many reasons, Magnificent Notre Dame has snatched defeat out of the lubricated hands of victory over the xenophobic Skunbears.
This is it. This is the last time (for the forseeable future) that this game will be played. It’s under the lights in prime time- so you know it’s good.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?
Man I love me some tradition. You know… something you do all the time- not just a few times in like 100 years, but then try to call it a tradition.
FUCK MICHIGAN 40 OZ. TO FREEDOM
Damn right it’s time for the Fuck Michigan 40’s. Grab a few bottles of your favorite malt liquor and celebrate a tradition like none other.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?
Another REAL tradition served up right:
The Worlds Greatest Simple Chili.
- 1 large onion diced
- 1.5 lbs. of lean ground round
- 1 can of dark kidney beans
- 1 can of diced tomato’s
- 1 package of a cheap chili seasoning (I prefer McCormicks)
- OPTIONAL- 1 cup of finely chopped celery
Brown your ground round, and before all the pink is gone drain the grease. Toss in your onions and celery and simmer on low for 5 minutes while stirring occasionally. Mix in the rest of the ingredients (do not drain the canned stuff- put it ALL IN). Add a half cup of water. Turn the heat on high and bring to a boil. Turn the heat on low, cover, and let it simmer for 10-30 minutes.
Serve with cornbread and a big dab of butter (No, I am not going to give you a recipe for that- buy a fucking box of Jiffy and follow their instructions).
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE WEARING?
While the most obvious attire for hunting devious Skunbears is a fully full-on camo outfit with facepaint, for this last game, let’s go with the rugged, sophisticated, and manly look of tweed. THE HUNT IS ON!
GOLDEN TWEETERS
As we stated last week, this is a swanky new addition to the Anti-Preview. Three elite tweeters a week for you to follow (the tweets are merely a nice tool for you to hit that follow button, which is basically saying the the following tweets are as random as Brady Hoke not getting fourths at the dinner table). This is as prestigious as it gets. Basically, 36 Chambers. Basically, WU-TANG FOREVER.
And for all my Hicksville, Ohio peeps: pic.twitter.com/pr2ojm5B4t
— oak (@oaknd1) August 29, 2014
SEO challenge of the week award goes to: @TheSubwayDomer, with supporting cast of @IrishElvis & @IrishTightness pic.twitter.com/rIpWyrOtyT
— Irish Tightness (@IrishTightness) September 3, 2014
#classy http://t.co/LMoKkQgGPu
— philly kelly (@phillykelly) August 29, 2014
OTHER THINGS
Does anyone else feel like Everett Golson is going to blow the hell up? This game is due for a Notre Dame quarterback to just dominate from start to finish and Everett Golson has all the tools needed to do the job. Whatever is going on with the Academic 5, it’s safe to say that none of their services will be available (if that’s even an option) for Saturday night. Somehow, this doesn’t seem to matter much with #5 at quarterback.
OFFENSIVE MVP
Greg Bryant. Of course I could have just picked Everett Golson again- especially since I just added another 2 cents to the hype machine in the previous paragraph, but I’m going with Bryant after, of all things, remembering what Tom Beaver said on ISD Power Hour… run right at Voldemort-sympathizing Michigan. Greg Bryant might be able to take this game over, hand it back to Golson, and then take it over again. If the Heroic Irish are going to consistently move the ball against the crooked Skunbears, they are going to have to run the damn ball. Luckily, Folston and McDaniel can also carry the load, but ultimately, I think Bryant will be the workhorse for the night.
DEFENSIVE MVP
Mathias Farley. Last week I chose Collinsworth as the defensive MVP in the Anti-Preview. I was 100% correct. With Collinsworth out due to an injury (that was unknown at time of print) the safety play from the Golden Sons of Notre Dame was not very good. The defense needed a veteran call man back there and this week, Farley provides all that and a bit more. Farley has been a forgotten man for most of the offseason, after a mediocre 2013 and a couple of position changes. Not this time. Farley comes up big. BEARDED BIG.
AT THE END OF THE NIGHT
Most people think that this will be a high scoring game with the winner being the team that gets the most out of its quarterback. I guess I can buy that generic concept. It’s not that it’s unlikely- but than again… this series seems to love the unlikely. I know it was only Rice, but this team (and Brian Kelly for that matter) seems to have that killer instinct that they lacked in previous years when those Bastard Skunkbears would magically pull a victory out of their ass. IRISH 34, SKUNKBEARS 23
WANTED: Ugly creature that no longer lives in Michigan because he hates them too.
