Welcome back to another season of Anti-Preview’s on Subway Domer. Sorry about last season you guys. You know… reasons and all that shit. But here we are at the dawn of the 2014 season. The offseason was going well and staying quiet until a just recently when this whole “academic fraud” thing popped up out of nowhere.
Oh well… TIME FOR THE SEASON TO START!
RICE
Most Irish fans, both casual and die-hard, don’t know a whole lot about the Rice Owls. That’s OK, most college football fans, both casual and die-hard, don’t know a whole lot about the Rice Owls as well. You really only need to know a few things.
- Rice lost it’s top two running backs and it’s quarterback from last year.
- Rice runs a version of the run-spread.
- Their defense isn’t very good.
THAT’S BRILLIANT ANALYSIS RIGHT THERE FOLKS!
I could be wrong, but Rice is either a baseball school or an old wooden ship from the Civil War. So… we will move it along now.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?
The Force
It’s called, “The Force.” There really isn’t much more to be said about its dominance with a name like that. The recipe comes from friend of Subway Domer (and a HUGE closet Notre Dame fan) Michael Felder AKA @InTheBleachers. This is what we do for home openers- we kick it with, “The Force.” Yep- it’s called tradition. Forget uniforms, turf preferences, or even fullbacks- this is what TRADITION really is.
THIS DRINK IS NOT FOR THE WEAK
We like to make ours in a Gatorade cooler, the type with the spout on the bottom so that there’s no dippage, I’m a germaphobe.
- 24 cheap beers (Natural Light is our go to)
- 1 half gallon cheap vodka (Aristocrat will do)
- 1 19 oz Country Time Lemonade POWDER
- *optional is a fifth of everclear (not suitable for freshman)
- *suggested is frozen lemonade or fruit punch concentrate (ice without watering things down)
Pour the case of beer into the cooler, add the vodka, stir in the lemonade powder. We like to put frozen blocks of ice in ziploc bags to keep it cold but strong. I will warn you that everyone’s first experience ends badly. I passed out for the first half of the UNC-Rutgers game in 2006, woke up, everyone was at the game and I was still at the house.
It is delicious though, I’ve seen it called Moose Juice and Summer Beer as well.
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE EATING?
The first game of the season is always a challenge when it comes to our nutritional intake- AHH FUCK IT AND DEEP FRY EVERYTHING! Got to. It’s the American way for the American game. Make yourself a batter:
And grab whatever the hell you can and fry it up. YOU CAN”T LOSE (I recommend White Castle. Like, I can;t begin to describe how insanely awesome it is. You’re welcome).
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE WEARING?
EXACTLY Notre Dame Magazine. Why Clothes? Who needs them anyways when the temps are going to be in the mid 80’s and could be pretty damn humid? Whatever your fashion choice is this week, just remember that it should be SAFETY FIRST and streaking is winning.
GOLDEN TWEETERS
This is going to be a changeup from previous years. Instead of posting tweets from players (Nix’s departure is just killing us) this will be a place for discovery. Each week, I will post 3 Twitter users that you should follow. These GOLDEN TWEETERS are just the damn best- they’re better than pistachio pudding! This is far more prestigious than any Twittermania top tenner, and way more bad ass than any HLS Recap nod.
Keep in mind that these tweets are tools for you to follow them. They won’t always represent their best work.
Not down with this "Kenny Pigskin" business.
— tricerapops (@tricerapops) August 29, 2014
Somewhere, right now, Ed Orgeron is pounding a Mad Dog, and no one around him can tell if he's laughing, crying, or screaming
— Nina Steigs (@PDXIrish) August 28, 2014
Rutgers is the birthplace of college football, but college football moved away and doesn't even go back for Thanksgiving.
— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) August 29, 2014
OTHER THINGS
This game has a whole bunch of firsts going for it. New turf, new uniforms, new defensive coordinator, new Irish Guard- you get the picture. What isn’t new, is that this game of football is being played on a Saturday afternoon in South Bend. Don’t lose sight of what lies ahead.
What lies ahead is the dawn of not only a new football season, but it is also the dawn of a new era in college football. The College Football Playoff is now here, and many things that mattered before, matter much less now. The key is for Notre Dame to always be involved in the conversation. That demand starts with blowing out opponents at home that need blowing out.
OFFENSIVE MVP
Everett Golson. Golson is the one clear choice. He’s making a redemption run after being dismissed for all of last year, and besides all of that, he is one of the few proven commodities on this Irish offense. The Irish offense could be dynamic this year with a blend of speed and power and pass and run. Golson is the key, and it all starts against Rice.
DEFENSIVE MVP
Max Redfield. Of all of the players on this Irish defense that could become household names in the span of one game, it might be Max Redfield. Redfield plays a sexy position as a safety, and a game against an inferior opponent has the ability to allow a player like Redfield to really shine. There is absolutely no evidence to support this, but treat it like gospel all the same.
AT THE END OF THE DAY
This Notre Dame offense will be dynamic. (Repeat that 3 times and click your gold heels). I have no doubt that Brian Kelly will be looking to set the tone of the season early and often. While the defense may have some question marks (with the biggest just in having a new defensive coordinator) I would bet that they will come to play and play hard. NOTRE DAME 45 RICE 10
