Wait a minute… IT’S THE ANTI-PREVIEW!!!!! Almost didn’t make it this week- and can you blame me? You can? Well screw you buddy. The loss to Michigan was devastating enough, but when you add in a full work week, two bastards (my kids), and two deaf bastards (my dogs) things tend to get a little out of hand and you fall behind very quickly.
Bastards. All of them…
Oh yeah, this is a Notre Dame Blog and not a primer for another “awesome” family sitcom on ABC Family- a new kind of family. I better get down to the topic at hand.
If last weeks game against Michigan was a, “must win game,” then what do we call this weeks game after the loss? How about, “a muster win game?” Hopefully the Pitt game on the 24th doesn’t become the, “mustest win game,” or we are all fucked. However, Matt Q said it best in his IBG response. Please read the answer to question 8 HERE.
Moving on…
Michigan State. Sparty, you legion of loin-cloth wearing assholes- welcome back to Notre Dame Stadium. Things have changed a lot since the last time you have been here. Please note our Jumbotron, our new fieldturf, the crazy-hot chicks, the marijuana-dispensing station, the blood on the steps, Brian Kelly, and our winning streak against Sparty in South Bend.
Hey, that one game winning streak is still a streak in the right direction- so just go with it. In this series, I’ll take all the positives I can and spin it, and spin it, and spin it, and spin it…
The Spartans are led by Kirk Cousins at quarterback. Cousins has damn near been elevated to demi-god status after a summer speaking engagement during Big Ten Media days. Cousins was praised for his thoughts on the conference, the NCAA rules, and so forth. Honestly, if you had seen it, you would have been gushing as much as the next guy- or me for that matter.
Cousins doesn’t stand alone. He has weapons on the edge such as BJ Cunningham (basically will remind you of every good Spartan WR ever) and State still has a trio of good running backs in Edwin Baker, Larry Caper, and Le’Veon Bell. The Spartan defense is missing a few familiar faces, but they are still a physical and fundamentally sound unit.
One last thing about State… they are 5 point underdogs (line subject to change). I don’t get it.
What should you be drinking? In what can only be described as some sort of sick joke, Notre Dame went up to Ann Arbor (whore) and choked on the Applesauce that was served by Sparty enemy; Michigan.
You remember applesauce, don’t you? How could you not?
In honor of that 2006 game, and in the hopes that Notre Dame move forward, I bring you:
Applesauce
- Frozen Lemonade
- Jack Daniels
- Sprite
- ICE
Fill a blender up with ICE. Throw in the frozen lemonade. Fill half of the now empty frozen lemonade can with Jack Daniels. Fill the rest of the can up with Sprite. Pour the Jack Sprite into the blender. Mix. You could serve a cherry with it, but only if you really want to be ridiculed.
Enjoy!
What should you be eating? Despite the large amount of Jack Daniels you may now be consuming, you could very well be feeling like some sort of wuss with all of the blending and cherries and all. (I told you the cherries were optional!!!) You need something to make you feel like a manly man again. Throwing some dead flesh on top of some fire usually works best. It doesn’t have to be a Rhinoceros to be many- just something that used to be breathing that isn’t breathing anymore.
Beer Can Chicken
- 1 3lbs Whole Chicken
- 1 12 oz. can of Beer
- Vegetable Oil
- 3 tbs. Creole Seasoning
- 1 Red Potato
For your Creole Seasoning use this:
- 1/4 cup salt
- 3 tbs. black pepper
- 3 tbs. garlic powder
- 1/8 tsp ground cayenne pepper
- 1 tbs. paprika
Mix all of the seasoning ingredients together. Put in a small jar.
Clean the chicken with cold water. Pat dry. Open beer and drink half of the can. Firmly, but gently place the beer can up the rear of the chicken. Lightly coat the skin of the chicken with some oil. Pat your creole seasoning onto the chicken, and throw a little down its throat. Wedge the potato into the top hole (throat) of the chicken. Place the chicken, upright, in the middle of your grill. The grill should be set at medium high, but the burners or flame should not be directly underneath the chicken. Cook for 1 hour 15 minutes- or until done. Let it sit for 10 minutes before cutting/eating.
One chicken for each manly man in the crowd. Tear that son of a bitch up with your bare hands for an added bit of warrior awesomeness.
Irish Stew: It seems like I give this piece of advice at least once a year, but it is something that is totally needed by a lot of Notre Dame fans… do something else on Saturday. What I mean is, is don’t watch all the ESPN pregame bullshit. Stop listening to it. Play with your kids, make love to your woman, start getting wasted- whatever.
Too many of you are obsessed with what the talking heads have to say during their circus show. Take a step back. None of it really matters. If you feel the need to watch any kind of pregame show, watch the ND pregame show on Versus. It has Doug Flutie. Yell at him. He’s a dwarf, and has deserved your abuse.
What scares the shit out of me? Wide Receiver, Michigan State. He doesn’t need a name. Why? Because there is one every year; that Sparty wideout that just torches ND. Sometimes it is just for a lot of yards, sometimes they seal the deal with big catches or own us with TD grabs. It doesn’t matter, but if you need to know this years menace, its name is BJ Cunningham. It’s bad enough that MSU can run the football, and has a QB that is pretty damn good. Throw in Cunningham and holy fuckballs… I’m having flashbacks.
Offensive MVP: Michael Floyd. Floyd is averaging over 155 yards per game receiving. He is absolutely the number one target. However, is it just me, or does anyone else think he isn’t getting the ball nearly enough? (Please join me in a lol moment).
Michigan State will be targeting Floyd like the black plague. We already know that Tommy Rees doesn’t care. He is going to throw the ball to Floyd. Michael will then pluck every single one of those balls out of the air and bring them to his body like a lost orphan looking for a home. Love man. Love.
Defensive MVP: Harrison Smith. Maybe if Gary Gray hadn’t been so obvious with his poor play last week, then Harrison Smith would have took a little more heat. Smith looked very awkward at times in coverage, and he, like Gray, had a difficult time adjusting to the ball in coverage. Maybe it was some type of virus.
At any rate, I expect Harrison Smith to bounce back and have a big game for the Irish against Michigan State. How’s 9 tackles and an INT sound to you? Sounds about right to me.
Something else to watch for on Saturday: The freshmen flush. After not seeing much time against Michigan, Brian Kelly said we would see a lot more of Aaron Lynch and Stephon Tuitt against Sparty. Also, Troy Niklas is listed as the #2 DOG linebacker since Danny Spond will be out due to injury. Niklas’s insertion into the 2 deep means that Notre dame has 4 freshman listed as the “#2” on the edge. (Ishaq Williams is listed as the #2 CAT linebacker). How will this affect the rotations? Will there be a conscious effort on Diaco’s part to not have 3 or more freshman on the edge at once? Do they even give a shit? Pay attention people.
Bragging Rights:
Known only as The Megaphone Trophy, this trophy may now be the most famous of the ND trophies…or should I say infamous. Introduced in 1949, it is a joint sponsorship by the Alumni Clubs of ND and MSU in Detroit. Half of the megaphone is painted blue with an ND monogram and the other side is white with a green MSU. The score from each year is painted on it. The current trophy is the third one in use since it has run out of room for scores twice before.
This award became nationally known after the 2005 and 2006 games. The Spartans were outraged when ND did not present them with the trophy after they were victorious at ND in 2005. ND stated that it has been the custom all along to give the trophy to the opposing team after a defeat away from the field. This might have been the starting point for Johnelle to become crazy as a bat. Most of the ND players and Coach Weis himself, admitted to not even knowing the trophy existed. This is probably true since the picture you see is from the video game NCAA 2007 by EA sports. I could not find a pic of it anywhere else that doesn’t have MSU players hoisting it after the 2007 game.
At the end of the day, there are far too many variables and emotions for me to many any kind of real prediction. That sounds like a crazy thing to say coming from a guy who has picked ND to win every game since the 2006 Sugar Bowl. Hmmm… that is crazy. IRISH WIN 34-27! While Floyd’s star shines the brightest, Cierre Wood continues his assault on opposing defenses and really help open up the play-action this week. Holla!
