The Irish have backed themselves up against yet another wall. In a loss to South Florida, Notre Dame racked up over 500 yards of offense and looked as efficient as any we have seen- right up until another redzone turnover. Because of turnovers, the Irish are now 0-1 and out of the top 25.
Besides the fact that Notre Dame is now 0-1, Brian Kelly took some heat from across the media and from some of the fanbase for his sideline demeanor. I will reserve any type of rant towards these people and instead provide you with the wise words of Her Loyal Sons premiere writer, The Biscuit. There was also the way Brian Kelly replaced Dayne Crist with Tommy Rees after one half of football. Add all of that up, and you have a spotlight that is as warm as the surface of the sun.
That spotlight gets even more of a nuclear boost with ESPN’s College Gameday arriving in Ann Arbor (whore!). Why would ESPN be in the land of the unholy? Well, yeah, they are just as evil as the next Antichrist. But there is something else going on…
Michigan. Fuck Michigan. The Denard Robinson Wrecking Crew is the next task at hand. After Michigan started the Brady Hoke era with a victory in a game that was never really finished (Western Michigan agreed to end the game in the third quarter, take their check, and head back to Kalamazoo like the MAC bitch that they are) the Skunkbears are whooping and hollering about their coach and their program.
Michigan may have undergone a coaching change, and a “change” in philosophy on both sides of the ball, but the simple fact is that this team will only be as good as Denard can carry them. The defense is still a bit of a mess, but they are improved and have gained a historically venomous villian as the defensive coordinator, in Greg Mattison.
As much as anything, the storyline for this game involves the Big Pisshole. This will be the first night game in the history of Michigan Stadium, and both teams will wear Adidas style throwbacks to look pretty. Honestly, this is the only real reason why ESPN will be there for Gameday. Lame.
Fuck Michigan.
What should I be eating? You got all day. Use that time to make a dish that gives an unusual salute to the pig. (Kind of like the Michigan cheerleading team).
Pulled Pork Chili
- 1 lb boneless pork loin
- 1 can black beans, undrained
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tbsp dried minced onion
- 1 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 tbsp honey
- 1 tbsp chili powder
- 2 tsp cumin
- 1 cup medium salsa with cilantro
- 1/2 cup tomato paste
- 1/2 cup strong brewed coffee
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup corn
Place all ingredients into a slow cooker. Give it a good stir. Cook on High 5-6 hours or on low 7-8 hours. Using two forks, shred pork.
Ladle into bowls and garnish with sour cream…and cilantro if you have it.
What should I be drinking? With out a doubt, there is really only one thing to drink this week. BREAK YO 40’S OUT MUTHAFUCKAS!!!! No matter what brand you decide to represent, this is, and always has been; FUCK MICHIGAN FORTY WEEK. So break out your St. Ides, King Cobra, Magnum. Be a puss and get the 40 oz. of Bud Light- whatever. Get your 40’s, and be sure to have your 40 oz. coozie (in case you were wondering, it’s the brown bag it comes in asshole).
Fuck Michigan! I’ll be rocking more of this:
Irish Stew: Because of the dangerous conditions Irish fans must face when they arrive in Ann Arbor (whore!) for the game on Saturday, there is only one thing that I recommend to be on said persons at all time while in the Unholy Land: BRASS KNUCKLES.
These aren’t just any brass knucks. These are a special brand released by the Papacy in 1598. They will cut those skunkbear demon motherfuckers down like you wer John Constantine. Spread the word.
What scares the shit out of me? The Denard Bomb. Plain and simple. I don’t care what type of offense Michigan is supposed to be running. This man can still cut you down. Diffuse the bomb, or bad shit can and will happen:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=r_xePqfTAi8
Offensive MVP: Cierre Wood. The brightest “surprise” from last week was the play by Cierre Wood. His 104 yards last week was the most by an Irish player since Armando Allen had a 100 yard game against UConn in November of 2009. Wood looked fantastic running the ball, and he showed what Notre dame has been missing in the pass game; effective screen running.
Notre Dame will be entering a beyond hostile environment (hence the brass knuckles), and supposedly Michigan Stadium is now pretty loud after 84 years of being the quietest gathering place of 100,000+ people. The Irish will need an effective running game to not only keep their composure, but to take the crowd out of the game with first down after first down. Wood is that guy.
Look for 120 yards and a couple of TD’s. LEPRECHAUN HANDS! LEPRECHAUN HANDS!! LEPRECHAUN HANDS!!!
Defensive MVP: Manti Te’o. Te’o had kind of a quiet game last week. Well, quiet, if you call 9 tackles and a sack quiet. For Manti, I guess we do. The Hawaiian Punch is a physical specimen. His size and speed are freakish in nature. However, he will never be as fast as Denard. But Denard will never be as physical as Manti.
Do you see where I am going here?
For Notre Dame to diffuse the Denard Bomb, they have to beat the shit out of him. To do that, it requires a team effort. The defensive lineman must make Denard hesitate, and/or change direction. Then, Manti and company will be able to swoop in and knock the living shit out of Shoelace.
Manti is still pissed that Jimmy Johns took forever to deliver his sandwich the other day. He is looking for vengeance. Look for 11+ tackles and a forced fumble. A key forced fumble.
Something else to watch for on Saturday night: I would be in the wrong if I did not mention Tommy Rees at all in this article.
My views on Tommy Rees changed once i started looking at him as a Joe Germaine clone. #BetterThanStatsless than a minute ago via Tweetbot for iPhone 
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The Subway Domer
TheSubwayDomer
I can’t fucking believe I am making an Ohio State reference here. But if you know anything about Ohio State football, you won’t be able to do anything but agree with me. On top of that, Rees plays a lot like Germaine and has overcome the same type of stereotypes against him concerning size, hype, and arm strength. (I wonder if this also makes Dayne Crist like Stanely Jackson?)
We need Tommy Rees. Not much more to it than that. Besides, just look at this picture and tell me he isn’t a clone!
He’d say “FUCK MICHIGAN!” too.
At the end of the night: Notre Dame needs this game. They need a win here more than any team in college football. I have heard even the most level headed of the Irish media state that Notre Dame might just ROLL Michigan. I think I know better. Irish WIN 31-27. Although I think that Notre Dame has the ability to win by three touchdowns or more, the history of this series says otherwise. However, this is also history:
RT @IrishtoddND: Since ND-Mich resumed in ’78, Michigan has never won 3 in a row. In the 3 times Mich had the chance, ND has won by 18,16,19less than a minute ago via TweetDeck Favorite Retweet Reply
Justin
geek_nd
That just changed my pick to IRISH WIN 38-17. FUCK MICHIGAN!!!!!!
