Editor’s Note: I don’t republish posts very often, but I thought this post from January of 2010 was one of those timeless pieces that should be shared- and shared sooner than the origainal 10 days away from NSD. A few minor edits were made, but that is all. I post this in the hope that the ND fans that follow recruiting will read this, laugh, and realize how stupid we can all get when it comes to the life choices of 17-18 year old kids. Enjoy:
Signing day is less than two months from now. Who wants to pull their hair out and smash it into their own eye sockets? I do, I do!!! Crazy? Well, that’s how recruiting has evolved in the last decade, and when it comes to Notre Dame recruiting… it gets even nutbaggier ( it’s a new word).
Every February, Irish fans fell a huge letdown as they watch endless hopes of landing this stud (insert position and player) heading somewhere else.
“He had us in his top two?! How can he turn down a Notre Dame education for those convicts in Miami? “
“He’s making a 40 year mistake!”
“He could start TOMORROW if he just signed with Notre Dame!”
It gets worse every year. Those are just a few examples of the type of comments that come spewing out of the mouths of the overzealous- and the ignorant. (Except for the starting tomorrow part- there’s nothing wrong with that statement for a lot of positions. cough cough).
How does this evolve? Let’s take a look as I role in and out of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person…
Please keep in mind that last years defensive haul was way out of character for Notre Dame. A sign of the future? Perhaps, but until we see 3 or 4 years of consistency, I look at that as a miracle. A fantastic miracle- but a god damn miracle none-the-less.
January- Irish fans are simultaneously, ecstatic and disappointed. Sure, they may have just seen blue-chippers with a ND offer in hand commit to schools like U$C, Oklahoma, Florida, and Miami- but they are still generally content with the guys that are committed and have just heard of a few new guys that are flying under the radar. (All these recruits have put ND in their top 3).
February- The art of the suicide post is perfected, and everyone becomes Chicken Little. All of this, because 2 guys decommit and the only pick-up for the Irish is a 3 star prospect that only held offers from Eastern Michigan, Indiana, and Western Kentucky. Insanity ensues as NDNation debates why “Plan B” guys were not pursued more vigorously and the merits of filling all 85 slots as opposed to trying again in the next class with more numbers. This month is pretty fucked.
March- Spirits are lifted as a list of top ranked juniors descend unto South Bend for junior days and quickly telling any reporter or fan that they “love Notre Dame” and that Notre Dame is right there in their top 5. Recruitniks everywhere come up with a list of “can’t miss” targets. All of these targets will likely end up in South Bend because; 1. Early playing time 2. Has a parent who values education 3. Has a family member somewhere in their family tree that went to Notre Dame and played 4. And so on, and so on. These guys are LOCKS!!!
April- Nothing can hold us back!!! More juniors arrive at ND for the Spring Game and some are coming back for their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time!!! Holy shit, these kids are already wearing the gold helmets! Who cares if a few guys that were targeted start committing elsewhere. John Vladimir, a 5 star CB from Baton Rouge commits to LSU- no problem. We hear that 4 star CB Glen Appleteeth from Pittsburgh is really feeling the love from ND and we like his highlight film a lot more. He’ll get his 5th star in no time. After the spring game, Notre Dame receives 3 commitments- 3 COMMITMENTS, all three are likely 3 stars- but Poot McStain, DE from Washington DC, will surely get ranked higher. He was injured his entire junior year.
May- Not much going on. WHY THE FUCK NOT?!!! Texas has 18 motherfucking commitments right now. We have three. Three, 3 stars. What the hell is going on? Why haven’t we offered Bobby Londik? His grandfather went to ND and we watched his highlight film. Kid is INSANE good. He could play TE, QB, or DT. Sky is the limit for Bobby.
June- Notre Dame gets sneaky and they have about 10 kids up for unofficial visits from the south (Florida, Georgia, North Carolina). See- South Bend ain’t so fucking cold. Actually, it’s quite nice. Look at all that green! Of the 10 kids, Raul Pierre and Nate McAlexander are from St Thomas Aquinas. PIPELINE!!! One of the kids actually commits- wait… 4 STAR RB TAVAR JACKSON-SMITH IS IRISH.
July- It’s the middle of the month. Only 4 commits? Depression hits as more and more news hits the message boards. A lot more offers go out and wait a minute… did we just get another commitment? Nope, we got two! Elmer Pepperfitz and Heath Glogtoad. Normally, a couple of 3 star offensive lineman wouldn’t raise too much fuss, but Irish fans are hungry. WHERE ARE THE TOP GUYS AT?!!! Bobby Londik just committed to Penn State. Fucking Joe Pa.
August- Normally, August is really quiet on the recruiting front. Notre Dame, however, is finally getting around to offering a few kids that every recruitnik KNOWS is interested in the Fighting Irish. Chance Starlet, Doug Beeftipe, Ronny Thagiwinuski, Brad Florlaamp. and Scott Dihgme are just a few of the many new names to get an offer. Fort Wayne Snider LB, Rex Fuscmich, was another and he took the offer and committed on the spot. Fort Wayne bitches! Fort Wayne!
September- As Notre Dame struggles on the field- yet is winning games, recruiting is heating up. Junior offers are going out and some fans are already looking forward to the next class. “Top 5 class for sure, dude! I heard a bunch of these guys are foaming at the mouth to come to ND!” The rest of the bunch is going apeshit over the 5 commitments ND got this month which included 5 star Center, Harry Voldemort and 3 star DE, Brad Florlaamp. 12 commitments- the class is shaping up.
October- The Irish drop two tough games and fans are starting to get nervous. No new commitments for the month and there are rumors of Tavar Jackson and Poot McStain possibly taking visits elsewhere. Don’t these guys know they made a commitment? I thought they were ND ALL THE WAY. Why isn’t the coaching staff offering Bob Loblaw and Brick Topplegainer? How many guys can we take in this class?
November- BCS BITCHES!!! Notre Dame wins out and closes with a 10-2 record. Recruiting is hitting a fever pitch as a lot of big name guys still have ND in their top 5 or even 3. What? Rex Fuscmich decommits and is heading to Ohio State? WTF!? He’s from the Fort, and Urban doesn’t start dipping into our recruits until at least late December. This is Bullshit. Notre Dame did manage to scrap up a trio of new commits. Headlining that bunch was 4 star TE Dmitri Blowithardovich. The end of the regular season sees Notre Dame standing with 14 commitments and they are in the top 3 or 5 of a long list of bigtime prospects. Onward to victory!!!
December- Look at this kids Facebook page!!!! Doug Beeftipe says he’s committed to ND, but he is wearing an Iowa hat. WTF!!??!! We all better get on his Facebook page and blow a bunch of shit. Iowa? C’mon… why in the hell would he want to go to Iowa? 40 year decision. Fuck. (a few weeks later) CHRISTMAS TIME!!! Notre Dame finally offered Bob Loblaw and they secured his commitment as well as Ronny Thagiwinuski. Could this class be in the top 5? Oh shit- we are rolling! Blair Pugdump and, finally, Glen Appleteeth commit to the Irish. 18 commits. Life is fucking great!
January- Life blows. Notre Dame got smoked in the Sugar Bowl by Georgia 38-16. Doug Beeftipe decommits from ND and commits to Florida state (I thought he was going to Iowa). Even though ND offered Brick Toplegainer, he is firmly committed to Ohio State. This coaching staff can’t recruit for shit. This isn’t even going to be a top 10 class. we went to a BCS game. How are we not signing EVERYONE? Three spots left to fill. Only THREE. ND took too many last year. Too many I tell ya.
February- Oh fuck. Glen Appleteeth flips to U$C on signing day. That god-damn Kiffin must be cheating again! How can a recruit just flip like that? ( a few hours later) SWEET. Bobby Londik just flipped to ND after being committed to Penn State for what seemed like forever. Just needed an offer. The staff is doing its best to fuck this up. Offer the damn kids. That’s it? I can- Oh, what a nice surprise. 2 star DB Jeremy Gagaface sends in a letter of intent. Need those numbers.
This could go on and on. It really could. Recruiting is fickle, and I am as guilty as the rest of you- well not the douchebags who write shit on those kids Facebook walls and verbally blast them on message boards… but guilty enough to overreacting. Hell yeah! Signing day is only a few short months away. I just know we are going to sign Kiel, Agholor, Thompson, Treggs, Armstead…..