Ahh… the Anti-Preview. After a couple weeks of piss poor performances by your great leader (me, assholes), I will try to make a strong comeback for… Washington State? Dear god. What is this, 1997? Oh, well.
Washington State. Notre Dame’s first game back into the neutral field slaughter of the innocents “barnstorming” schedule is a doozy. Washington State is perhaps the worst BCS conference team in the country. Their offense ranks 111th in the country with 293 yards and 15.14 points per game. Their defense is even worse (and worse than Notre Dame’s) giving up 500 yards and 37 points per game.
Wow. Just think about what will happen if Notre Dame has another close game- or worse loses.
Is that even possible? Well anything can happen when you are chasing Cougar tail- wasted. We better just get to the Anti-Preview before we start sweating.
What should you be drinking? When Cougar hunting, it is important to remember to fit in with the pack and assimilate. Therefore, this week you have a choice of drinks to accompany you along the hunt.
First off, you have to narrow your cougar down. If the cougar is drinking something like an Appletini, wine cooler, or Boone’s Farm- you fucked up. This is not a cougar. In actuality, it is probably a young, single skank on the prowl like a skunk. Stay away.
However, if your cougar is drinking one of these three drinks (beer is always acceptable, but it makes it harder do separate the skanks from the real cougars) than you should move in for the kill shot- or they will.
1. Classic Martini
- 2 1/2 oz. gin (do yourself a favor and get top shelf)
- 1/2 oz. or less of dry vermouth
- Green olives or a lemon slice
1.Pour the ingredients into a mixing glass filled with ice cubes.
2.Stir for 30 seconds.
3.Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
4.Garnish with toothpick of olives or the lemon slice.
2. Vodka and Cranberry
- 3 1/2 oz. vodka
- 1/2 oz. cranberry juice
1.Pour the vodka into an ice filled highball glass
2.Splash the cranberry juice.
3.Stir with plastic sword or finger- sexy-like
3. Morgan and Diet Soda
- 2 1/2 oz.
- Diet Soda (whatever you drink)
1.Pour Morgan into an ice filled highball glass
2.Top with the diet cola
3.Stir with plastic sword or finger- slutty-like
What should you be eating? Well, cougars eat young innocent deer like creatures- so of course you should too. (that just sounds weird, but go with it). So here is a little recipe from the hill country in Texas, which I think is only a 9 hour drive away from San Antonio.
What should you be wearing? A hat dumbass. You are in Texas. But don’t make it one of those ridiculous 10 gallon “hiding my dope and a keg” hats, get one that makes cougars flock. A trucker hat. BEWARE: The cougar will own your ass once it makes contact.
Offensive MVP: Kyle Rudolph. Let’s just say Jimmy Clausen is Offensive MVP for life and move on. Kyle has been in a bit of a funk lately. His lack of production has been due to him staying in to pass block, and quite frankly- some bad route running. However! i will call it right now… Kyle Rudolph will catch the ball for over 100 yards and 2 TD’s. There is absolutely no one on Washington State that will be able to cover him, period.
Ahh… Kyle:
Defensive MVP: Manti Te’o. This is sounding like a broken record too. Te’o is the best defensive player on the Irish team- and he hasn’t scratched the surface of his potential. He will have a huge day against Washington State. Big hits, turnovers, domination. The writing is on the wall. This is what makes Charlie Weis smile:
The Sleeper: Kapron Lewis-Moore. Normally, the hometown kid doesn’t go all apeshit, but something inside of me is saying KLM will. Washington State has a hard time protecting the quarterback and its ground game is equally bad. You know Wazzu will concentrate on the rush from Te’o, Johnson, and B. Smith (and maybe a flying Harrison Smith too). KLM has a chance to go one on one with a blocker and blow his drawers off. Watch him.
Something else to watch: Actually two things…
- Will Weis run up the score? The spread is 29 points and if the game was in South Bend it would probably be around 34. that says a lot about both teams. Weis has the offensive firepower to do so- but will he?
- How many snaps will Dayne Crist get? The Irish need a blowout, and Jimmy Clausen needs big numbers to continue his Heisman campaign. However, Crist has to get more playing time to help prepare him for the future- which unfortunately, may be sooner than we Irish fans would like.
So who’s gonna win? IRISH 45-13. I’ve given like 20 + different scores for this game, but they all are similar… a big point win for Notre Dame. The offense won’t be stopped, and the defense will get a confidence boost by crushing a unit that is, quite frankly- not good at all.
