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The game that Rudy and I are tailgating MUST be an away game. Preferably Michigan. That way, when I see people wearing “Rudy Sucks” shirts or “Rudy Was Offsides” shirts- or whatever, I can yell at them “Fuck you buddy. This is the real Rudy and he’ll kick your fucking ass for no other reason than he is desperately seeking glory!” That should set off either a feel good moment or a serious ass whooping. Whatever direction works for me.
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Rudy must have his lettermans jacket on. Even if it is 105 fucking degree. I can do it coach!
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That we’re double fisting PBR all day. It just sounds good.
2. What was your best experience ever with a tailgate party?
I’ve been to far too many to possibly pick just one. There have been so many great drunken and moronic moments that make every tailgate special, so I’ll share with you a little story about a tailgate party of 2…
Long story short, it was the Tennessee game in 2001. A buddy of mine (Mike Jones. Who?) wanted to go to an Irish game because he had never been to the Mecca before. It was an Ohio State bye week, so the Tennessee game worked out perfect. We went out the night before and of course, we got too hammered to get up on time. We left Defiance County (Ohio) sometime around 10 am. When we got to ND and parked at White Field, we got out and started drinking a few cold Budweiser’s- then we remembered we still had to get tickets. So we just started saying to each other, “Slam one more and then we’ll go to campus.” That continued until we cashed out a case. Stumbling and laughing our way onto campus, we finally found a guy with tickets right as the opening kickoff was going on. We purchased the tickets which to my surprise were right next to each other and paid less than face value. We of course had our pants filled with booze as we entered the stadium, which made me a little paranoid since it was only a month and a half past since 9/11 and security was supposed to be tight. It wasn’t, and we made our way inside. First half goes by, and I take a restroom break at halftime. I filled my big ass cup with beer while i was in the restroom and I ventured back into ND Stadium. I was just walking up the steps, when Courtney Watson picks one off and takes it to the house. I jump up in excitement and came down wrong. My ENTIRE beer flies up in the air and came down on some poor soul as I tumbled down the flight of steps right in front of an usher. I got up and went back to my seat. The ushers did nothing- must have been out of Cappie’s section. I remember only one more thing from that day and that was Battle fumbling the ball on the one yard line.
If you see me tailgating (I will be at the Pitt game) I’ll retell it for you with big words and the slur that the story really deserves. Not the best experience, but one of many moments attributed to a wasted youth that come to mind when I reminisce about tailgating.
3. There are lots of great tailgate experiences around the country – what school’s tailgate tradition do you most want to experience?
Speaking of that game against Tennessee! How about a trip to Neyland? Neyland Stadium is one of the largest and loudest stadiums in the country- back to the tailgating. Here is a link that will give you a better reason than I can because I haven’t been there… yet.
Water = Bikinis
4. Indiana decides that their drinking laws are far too un-draconian (I’m from Wisconsin. I don’t understand these things like “kids aren’t allowed in bars,” “your parents can’t give you liquor if they are supervising” and “no alcohol purchases on Sunday”), and drinking is now forbidden on Saturdays. The Excise Police stop by your tailgate, and proceed to dump out the liquor you were attempting to hide from them. What do they pour out?
I hold three drinks sacred on gameday:
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Budweiser. Because it is the King of Beers. Period, end of lesson.
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Pabts Blue Ribbon. A great way to puke cheaply.
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Apple Cider and rum. Because sometimes, even a cop can’t tell if there’s alcohol mixed in it as he swishes it back. (Great drink for walking around campus with).
5. OK, I couldn’t leave it alone completely. How do you feel about the impending end of the Coach Willingham era at Washington?
I have cussed quite enough already, but fuck him. Good bye and don’t come back. It’s just too bad that he can’t take John Saunders and Mike Lupica with him. (Or 99% of the talking heads- Trev can stay).
“I hate Ty too. And that is a scientific fact!”
