And here we go… It’s Michigan week, and I think we can all agree that Michigan can go to hell (and due to the recent fires in Detroit- it may happen sooner than later). I have been hammering away at the “Fuck Michigan” and “hate” themes all week, and for good reason. Fuck Michigan, I hate them.
I’m not going to bang our heads against the wall much more, so let’s get this Anti-Preview rolling…
Michigan. Maybe the best way to describe Michigan, is to call them, “Fake Lazarus.” Michigan football basically died in 2008. They started off hot in 2009, which included a win over Notre Dame, but then as dead things do… Now, after a decent showing against UConn, all of a sudden I am supposed to shit myself silly because Denard Robinson can run fast?
Fuck that. Denard can run the ball- there is no denying that fact. Michigan’s defense though, well, they look like they need a lot of help- literally. Their secondary is down to a bunch of new guys and a schmuck or two off of fraternity row. UConn should not be mistaken for an offensive juggernaut, but they seemed to move the ball well, when they weren’t dropping it.
Offensively, when you get past Robinson, I’m not really seeing anything that stands out to me as a “must stop.” Maybe that is a little naive, but if Michigan thinks it can come down to South Bend with a playbook straight out of Pee-Wee football, then they are seriously mistaken.
What should you be drinking? 40 ounces of the finest malt liquor you can find at your local corner liquor store. Just about every year, my closest Notre Dame friends and family get together for our “Fuck Michigan 40oz. Party.” Usually, some puss ($crot) will bring a 40 of Bud Light. Naw… that ain’t right. Tip back a cold St. Ides, King Cobra, or Magnum. As for me, my 40 of choice is Mickeys.
I was first introduced to the Mickeys on my first night in college, when I took a road trip with my roommate to his hometown of Detroit. I drank a Mickeys on the corner of the street, right outside a liquor store. It was euphoric.
Get your mind right, and tip back your Fuck Michigan 40!
What should you be eating? Well, since the weather is calling for rain, I think we should break out a classic… The Worlds Greatest Simple Chili.
- 1 large onion diced
- 1.5 lbs. of lean ground round
- 1 can of dark kidney beans
- 1 can of diced tomato’s
- 1 package of a cheap chili seasoning (I prefer McCormicks)
- OPTIONAL- 1 cup of finely chopped celery
Brown your ground round, and before all the pink is gone drain the grease. Toss in your onions and celery and simmer on low for 5 minutes while stirring occasionally. Mix in the rest of the ingredients (do not drain the canned stuff- put it ALL IN). Add a half cup of water. Turn the heat on high and bring to a boil. Turn the heat on low, cover, and let it simmer for 10-30 minutes.
Serve with cornbread and a big dab of butter (No, I am not going to give you a recipe for that- buy a fucking box of Jiffy and follow their instructions).
Irish Stew. Saturday marks the 9 year anniversary of one of the most infamous acts in American history- 9/11. No matter what your feelings are about the current wars overseas, 9/11 is, or should be, a memorial day for those who died senseless deaths from the terrorist attacks and for the soldiers who have died in the wars that have followed. It is all tied together, and it is a sad commentary of the world we live in today. College football, and sports in general, have been a fantastic outlet of joy for all of us trying to just get through these tough times. Show your patriotism- whether it be in a pin on your hat, or just general kindness towards those who you don’t know. Love ya, America.
What’s in a name? With a name like Vladimir Emillen, there is no way you canbe excluded from this list. Rocko Khoury is a pretty badass name for anyone- let alone a skunkbear. #63 is a redshirt sophomore on the offensive line, and it is uncertain what his real name is… probably Ernie. The “Khoury” sounds like “curry” which means he may have some kind of preference for Italian/Indian cuisine- which means he should check his drawers.
The Brawling Hibernian’s Angle: Last week, Michigan and Notre Dame both played at home and won. In both cases, the wins were comfortable, and Notre Dame’s win would have been even more comfortable, were it not for a fluke fumble at the goal line by an All-American. Michigan’s win was largely the result of one player having the game of his life while his teammates did nothing especially noteworthy. Given all this, and the fact that this week’s game is at Notre Dame, which team does college football’s punditry support? Michigan, of course! If you were ever looking for an example of the type of superficial thought exercises favored by “professional” sportswriters and commentators, this is it.
Rather than seeing Denard Robinson’s performance as a likely outlier, he has been moved into the category of Heisman contender and program savior. Granted, that may turn out to be the case, but I wouldn’t anoint him as such on the basis of one game. How many times is a quarterback going to complete 86% of his passes and pile up 383 total yards (81% of UM’s overall offensive production that day)? Answer: Not often. Why is it more plausible that Robinson would have a similar output two straight weeks rather than a significant drop-off? Is there any track record which suggests that being the case? Further, given injuries, graduations and transfers does anything beyond a superhuman one-man performance give confidence that Michigan has improved as a team from last year’s 5-7 record? When answering that last question, keep in mind the following statistical points about Michigan’s opening game:
- After Robinson, Michigan’s next two leading rushers averaged 3.2 and 3.6 ypc (Robinson averaged 6.8)
- While his completion rate was impressive, Robinson threw for under 200 yards (186)
- In spite of losing by 20 points, UConn’s defense racked up 11 tfl against UM (conversely, UM had 4)
- Michigan’s defense allowed 343 total yards (including 5 ypp and almost 5 ypc), in spite of their offense holding a nearly 14 minute advantage in time of possession (36:52-23:08). In other words, when UConn’s offense was on the field, they were able to move the ball.
- Michigan’s defense did not register a sack in 38 pass attempts by UConn
This all supports the idea that, when one gets past Robinson’s performance, UM played a pretty mediocre game against UConn. The defense allowed yards and didn’t penetrate well, the offense wasn’t especially dynamic and, on the whole, there is nothing that screams “good team” from any of this. I know, I know, “they didn’t need to do anything else offensively.” Maybe. Still, if I were a Michigan fan, I’d like to know they could. What’s more, I probably wouldn’t be terribly confident in the ability of my defense.
Don’t get me wrong, Notre Dame could definitely lose this game. In order for that to happen, though, one of three things will need to happen: 1) Robinson carries the team on his back yet again, 2) the rest of Michigan (especially the defense) steps up significantly, or 3) Notre Dame makes a ton of mistakes and generally plays poorly. None out of the realm of possibility but, all things being equal, Notre Dame rates the advantage. Of the two teams, they’re the only one who proved to have a multi-faceted offense and efficient defense. Throw in the fact they’re playing at home, and I go ND, 34 – UM, 21.
KGG’s Slant: Its Michigan week. I can’t remember a week in the past decade that I have wanted a win so bad, that wasn’t a USC week. I want this game and I want it now. Michigan comes in with some momentum having looked decent again UConn. We all learned that although Denard Robinson can’t tie his shoelaces, he can scramble. Big deal. There are plenty of quarterbacks that can scramble but it takes that special 5 year old to know how to tie their shoes. This week is also important from a psyche and recruiting standpoint. East Lansing is a tough place to play a night game and heading there next week with a 2-0 record and ranked, would do wonders for this team. Numerous high profile recruits will also be in town this weekend and a win will just solidify the entire Notre Dame experience. The game also falls on 9/11. What better way to honor the troops and those who lost their lives during 9/11 than to beat the skunkbears? Also, IT’S MICHIGAN! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE NEEDED TO SAY ABOUT THIS WEEK, OR SHOULD I KEEP WRITING IN ALL CAPS!!!!1!!!
Anyways, if the Irish are going to come out on top this week, they need to be able to contain the edge. Robinson will look to exploit the Irish on the outside, much like Danny Hope and Robert Marve tried to do last week. If the Irish can keep containment on defense they can win this ballgame. Much was made of the improved tackling against Purdue, but it needs to be flawless against this type of spread. The d-line needs to continue to step up and elevate their game, allowing the linebackers to focus on the edge rushers. Manti needs to land all of those whiffs he had last week and the corners need to come up and make open field tackles. We might see Kelly use some form of spy to try and contain Robinson on the run to try and force him to pass. Robinson is only a sophomore that was only 14-31, 188 yards with 2 td’s and 4 ints last year. Force this kid to pass against a talented group of Irish corners.
The Irish offense needs to open up a bit more if they want to win. It looked as though Kelly kept the playbook under wraps last week to try and get the Irish offense some experience before really diving in. Dayne had a great performance, but he looked like he was constantly zeroing in on his receivers before his throws. With the way Floyd tried to take over (he really looked like a man possessed against Purdue), and the lack of experience in Michigan’s secondary, Crist needs to go through his progressions and not be afraid to throw the deep ball. Look for Kelly to open the spread up a bit more, add more reverses to get Riddick involved, and continue to utilize the thunder and lighting that is Allen and Wood. If the Irish can stretch the secondary with some early balls, look for the running game to get on track and exploit the defense with some reverses and screens.
Irish win again, 31-21.
Offensive MVP: Michael Floyd did not have a very good game by his normal standards last week. Besides fumbling near the goaline, he had a big ass doughnut in the touchdown column. So, you can probably bet that he is both: A) Working his ass off to do all that he can to dominate and destroy the Skunkbears B) Foaming at the mouth over the depleted depth chart he is facing, as it pertains to Michigan’s secondary.
I would be very, very surprised if Floyd doesn’t blow up- and blow up quick against Michigan. If there was ever a game on this schedule where a weakness could be exploited, it is this game. The real question will be if Crist will get the ball there consistently. If he does… BOOM! POW! KABOOM! WHAMO!…
Defensive MVP: Is it safe to pick a guy on the second team? Well, maybe not, but I am going to do it anyways. Steve Filer could be a big part of stopping Denard Robinson. Filer has the speed and the athleticism to shut down Robinson on the contain, but will he even be put in that position?
Kerry Neal and Darius Fleming are the starters on the edge, but it appeared that Notre Dame substituted back and forth last week at a record pace. Somehow and someway, I just have this gut feeling that Steve Filer is going to be out on the field for a life-altering play. Whether that play is a turnover, or just a hit that gives Denard Robinson snot bubbles that flow like a 3 years old. No definite proof just yet… but just watch.
Something else to watch out for… Jamoris Slaughter (ankle) will dress for the game, but he won’t play unless it becomes an emergency situation. Zeke Motta is about to make his first career start. Motta has been touted by the staff to have a ton of talent and a sound tackler… but I don’t think he is as near as quick as Slaughter, who had a nice game last week. How Bobby Diaco uses Harrison Smith and Zeke Motta, may decide how well this defense hold up against the big play, and Denard in particular.
At the end of the day… America has completely sold out and is bowing down to Denard Robinson like he is a returning hero king of run like Vince Young or Mike Vick. Seriously America. Is Denard going to play safety and linebacker at the same time too? I didn’t think so. I think Notre Dame makes enough plays on defense and rolls on offense to make this an entertaining game that has a hint of “oh, shit!” to it, but in the end it won’t be as close as everyone is making this game out to be. Irish 38-27.
