Shooting Bottle Rockets At The Moon: The Aaron Lynch Saga

Aaron Lynch will be transferring away from Notre Dame following the spring semester. A 10 AM press conference was announced and Brian Kelly, very bluntly, told the media that Aaron had “quit the football team.” 

Immediately, the phrase “shooting bottle rockets at the moon” came to mind. I’m not sure if I heard that somewhere before, or if it was just one of those epiphanies that came in the heat of the moment. At any rate, it means that you are trying to reach a large goal, but are using some of the weakest tools to do so. In a nutshell, this is what Notre Dame football has been doing for over 20 years. 

Yes, we can apply it to many things abut the program, but for today it is for Aaron Lynch. Lynch was an absolute animal on the field in almost every sense of the word. He, reportedly, was also an animal off of the field as well. This is one of our moons. Players like Lynch are huge goals for a program like Notre Dame to achieve, and despite being at Notre Dame for a year; they couldn’t hit that goal. They used bottle rockets, because that was all that they had. To some; great academics, a historic tradition, early playing time, national exposure, etcetera are missiles, but not for Lynch. His heart was somewhere else.

This is the great dilemma for Notre Dame. When the entire world is offering personalized missiles, Notre Dame stands high on a pedestal with a handful of bottle rockets. How can this program overcome and move forward? How can they reach the moon? The “when” is immaterial at this point. It’s the “how” that needs to be figured out first.

Why all the dramatic undertones with this post? Because it just seems to be one negative story after another for Notre Dame. As they say, “the hits keep coming.” Singularly, this stuff is typical, but after a series of hits it is a powerful blow. 

There is no doubt that the Irish will miss Lynch on the field, but for the first time in many years, I can honestly say that the defensive line has enough quality depth to absorb this kind of hit. Look for an increased role by Ishaq Williams, and a greater use of the line rotation with Nix, KLM, Schwenke, Hounshell, Tuitt, and even Shembo. It will take some effort, but this unit seems up to the task.

Now for some fun. If you are able to mentally grasp the stark realities of Notre Dame football and still have not jumped off of that ledge… perhaps you would like to join me and my friends as we lean on eachother during these dark times using dark humor and all manner of bullshit. Here is a taste of what happened today with the Aaron Lynch saga as we shoot our own bottle rockets at the situation:

Shooting Bottle Rockets At The Moon: The Aaron Lynch Saga

Storified by The Subway Domer · Fri, Apr 13 2012 18:55:50

#NotreDame DE Aaron Lynch has left the football team and will transfer to another school following the spring semester.Brian Hardin
Owwww our balls :(Steve G
I think a couple more of us should RT Hardin in case someone missed itSteve G
SHUT UP RT @mquirion: Have I mentioned how happy I’ve been since quitting #NDFB blogging?NDtex
@HLS_NDtex @mquirion you misspelled "switched to bleacher report"Tim O’Connor
@bigbade99 homesick…apparently he has a fiance back in Florida or some shitSteve G
BREAKING: Urban Meyer decides to return to Florida so he can recruit the transferring Lynch.Matt Quirion
I can’t wait until Buffalo drafts Aaron Lynch.The Subway Domer
@HLS_NDtex Lynch will be at OSU. You know it. I know it. Urban Meyer knows it.Matt Quirion
Lynch is an absolute stud and will obviously be missed but for the first time (ever?) DL is the one position that can slightly handle thisSteve G
Lynch hates South Bend so much, he’s willing to give up a year of eligibility to get back to FL. Chew on THAT.Matt Quirion
Don’t fret, Notre Dame. You still have – wait, this roster just has the names of DuckTales characters on it.sir broosk
RT @fighting4jesus: @TheSubwayDomer it isn’t the cold it is the girl> U think his girl wants to live in Buffalo???The Subway Domer
Well, if Lynch ends up at USF, that’ll be another turnover they scoop up from us.NDtex
Admissions couldn’t sneak Lynch’s gf in? Who took her spot, another quidditch player?GB
1) Seems like we can never have nice things. 2) I really hope Alice Lynch isn’t baited on twitter to argue with deranged fans. #NDFBJesse
Super excited to see Aaron Lynch trending, you guys.Adam Steigerwald
Ultimately, with the Lynch transfer, we’re all still paying the price for Wolfie’s closing down.Matt Quirion
Personally, I feel like Lynch is really overreacting to the closing of Club 23Steve G
Overheard from a prep coach in the Gug: "I always wondered what it would have been like if Chris Martin came to Notre Dame. Now I know."Irish Illustrated
At an SEC school, Lynch’s GF would have been living in the dorm with him, or forgotten about in a week. Or both. #NDFBThe Subway Domer
BK should ramp back on the candor re: Lynch. Will hurt recruiting.Comments should skew towards "Aaron couldn’t cope w/ the awesomeness here"Jesse
Of terrifying yuppie kids RT @jdubs88: Aaron Lynch’s bookstore basketball team is going to face some hostile crowds in the next 2 weeks…Matt Quirion
#NDFB twitter pals. I love you all so much, seriously. Somehow bad news re: the program is so much more fun to process with you guys aroundJesse
You just know there are some ND fans on the west coast so excited to see Lynch next week in the Blue/Gold game.NDtex
I blame Saint Mary’s College 100% for Lynch. Cmon y’all!The Subway Domer
@dinodemilio "Don’t put the pussy up on a pedestal"NDtex
Look, you build a stadium expansion that blocks Jesus’ view and you get what you deserve!Steve G
@tricerapops see, this plays into my theory: NDFB fandom is an exercise in sadomasochism. It’s usually just a chance to be hilariously sad.Matt Quirion
Lesson that will be learned here is to ALWAYS over-react when player (Lynch) leaves campus and cool bloggers tell you not to over-react.Steve in Iowa
Some dark humor from my ND twitter people today. It’s what we do best, really.PAK
It’s good thing we don’t have to face Landry Jones & Matt Barkley this year as they both obviously declared for the draft..right?…RIGHT?!?Steve G
Perhaps Oregon can swoop in to pay Ms Lynch’s rent? Clearly, Chip can bury that money somewhere in the recruiting budget from 2009.The Solid Verbal
For the record, Lynch’s teammates didn’t like him anyway. He pissed them all off with his "I’m so tough, mean streak" edge.Grantland X
I know the answer: Build a huge jumbotron. Let Lynch use it to skype with his girl anytime. #solvedThe Biscuit
@HLS_Biscuit cybersex outdoors in the winter would be very awkwardNDtex
And I’m not kidding about that at all. Lynch was immature, and picked fights for the sake of doing it. Tate Nichols wasn’t a rarityGrantland X
I love you, Notre Dame Twitterverse. Come’ere you crazy gallows humor masters! <group hug /> <starts crying awkwardly />Tim O’Connor
There is gonna be one super confused 75 year old alum at the Spring Game next weekend wondering where that "Lynch fella" isSteve G
The Notre Dame football program just rolled over and lit up a cigarette. @OneFootDown @aNDy_grey @TheSubwayDomer @jdubs88Rade Butcher
Kinda upset I won’t be able to yell at the refs for ignoring the blatant holding on Lynch on every play next season you guys :(Steve G
Chris Martin on Lynch: "amateur"The Biscuit
Featuring Lynch prominently on The Shirt probably wasn’t the smartest ideaSteve G
Notre Dame Football’s biggest problem the last 20 years is that CFB players tend to be 18-22.Matt Quirion
@TheSubwayDomer Lynch would have stayed if we had a Jumbotronsamari711
@HLS_NDtex @oaknd1 Here’s a visual of @TheSubwayDomer doing just that: Quirion
Pretty pumped for Manti Teo to announce he’s change his mind and instead of playin is gonna do his Mormon mission this fallNDEddieMac
Morning didn’t start exactly how I wanted it to. Fixed. Felder

Editor’s Note: All tweets shown above will be counted towards the ongoing Twittermania battle on Subway Domer. Totals will be adjusted in next weeks segment.

About The Subway Domer

Warlord and Emperor of the Subway Alumni... also, I do this "dad" thing pretty damn well.